i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
