i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
