We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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