So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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