I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i think im in europe. pls send help
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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