there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
