In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
As shirtless as possible
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
