True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
