Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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