he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
