Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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