Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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