These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
