I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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