I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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