Sry I called you an 8
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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