The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
