Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize