i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize