You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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