Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think your dad took our porno
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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