My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
