ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
