Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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