this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
