it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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