I CAN MOONWALK!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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