i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
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