Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Couch. On fire.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
