Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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