I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
