I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
