week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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