proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
