I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
