I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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