he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
