My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
