That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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