Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
