If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
