I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
