Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
