I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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