True but thats because hes a fetus.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
