5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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