How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have aggressive nipples.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
