..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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