youre lurking in front of me
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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