His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he laminated a picture of his dick.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize