The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
