ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
