it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
