Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
