I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
