Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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