don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
