a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize