I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize