I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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