If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
